Good morning my friends!
Flash sale alert: the Rose Guy just lost his mind!
“The 60-stem ecstatic explosion bundle”
So exclusive, it’s not on the website. Don’t even try. It’s like Fight Club, but with flowers.
• *60 stems. $85.60. Free shipping from Ecuador to your door in the US.*
That’s $1.43 per stem. Your wallet just fainted.
What you get (because we’re not messing around):
1. Gerberas – Like daisies that won the lottery. (8 stems)
2. Veronicas – Tall, spiky, and judging your ex’s life choices. (20 stems)
3. Dianthus Neon Cherry – So bright, they glow in the dark. (8 stems)
4. Achillea Yellow – Sunshine in stem form. (8 stems)
5. Astee White or Blue – Pick your mood: Angelic or “I’m a wizard.” (8 stems)
6. Solidago – The golden confetti of the flower world. (8 stems)
Total: 60 stems of pure floral chaos.
Enough to fill 5 vases, 1 bathtub, or your boss’s office as a “performance review.”
• *This deal is so flash, it’s not on
(Seriously, I tried. It crashed the server.)
How to snag it before i come to my senses:
**Email me.
(Subject: “I’m in before you regret this”)
Payment (Pick your poison):
PayPal: hitattractions@
Zelle: hprather@
Card: Reply with your WhatsApp or US phone # – I’ll call you like a flower drug dealer.
Warning: This bundle may cause:
– Spontaneous compliments
– Jealous neighbors
– Sudden urge to become a wedding planner
Offer ends when I run out of stems or sanity.
Email now. Flowers this fresh don’t wait. Neither should you.
— The Rose Guy
* Direct US delivery to any US address direct from my Ecuadorian farms. “holy crap, that’s a lot of flowers”
Hugh Prather: yourroseguy@gmail.com
WhatsApp: +704 575 7978
US: 704 575 7978
http://www.yourroseguy.com
City: Cumbaya
